did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
