I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy