He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
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this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
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A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia