Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize