I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
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There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
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There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
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Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.