what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?