He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.