Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant