CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush