I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
ttyl tear gas
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Sorry my hands just texted you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
