Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize