Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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