I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize