over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
