please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
