I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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