He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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