I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize