Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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