Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.