Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name. http://tfl.nu/o57y

Replies (23) Good night (1627) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians. http://tfl.nu/rppl

Replies (118) Good night (37799) Bad night (1297)
Favorite
(224): View more from Illinois

bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(224): bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh. http://tfl.nu/hyh0

Replies (5) Good night (4203) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens. http://tfl.nu/fm3u

Replies (10) Good night (850) Bad night (3134) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(650): View more from California

I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(650): I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar. http://tfl.nu/ituj

Replies (12) Good night (4616) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(248): View more from Michigan

i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(248): i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech http://tfl.nu/b8ee

Replies (18) Good night (3787) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice. http://tfl.nu/sig2

Replies (5) Good night (2400) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP" http://tfl.nu/bthl

Replies (20) Good night (3616) Bad night (1098) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(707): View more from California

Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand. http://tfl.nu/dp2x

Replies (6) Good night (1471) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(520): View more from Arizona

He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(520): He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA? http://tfl.nu/u8oz

Replies (4) Good night (713) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(760): View more from California

I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(760): I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/aeiu

Replies (3) Good night (1185) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you. http://tfl.nu/qush

Replies (4) Good night (934) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly http://tfl.nu/feuo

Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(858): View more from California

you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(858): you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you. http://tfl.nu/hkpv

Replies (2) Good night (1096) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(646): View more from New York

Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(646): Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth! http://tfl.nu/4hup

Replies (5) Good night (1748) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: