It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
vagina is talking i cant
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
