Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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