"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
