Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
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No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
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You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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