seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
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It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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