We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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