He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
