You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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