Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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