i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize