I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize