We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
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I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
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finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize