This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.