I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.