May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?