can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom