is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
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