I smell stomach acid.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
