My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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