brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
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Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
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Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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