I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it hurts more in the daytime
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.