watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing