She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs