I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize