I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize