Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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