i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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