i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
