I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
this is an emotional support booty call
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
