of course. lets lasso hookers.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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