I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He kissed a someone with a penis
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
