some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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