Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
