I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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