Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
