Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
