Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
