pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
