I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
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